Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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