just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My penis needs a shock collar
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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