Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
