i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
