It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
