I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
