How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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