I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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