I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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