On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
