I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
