You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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