Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Randomize
