The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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