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True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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