i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
