She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
