He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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