he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
