I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
