i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
