i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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