I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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