This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
