try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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