Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
