Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
