I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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