Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
