just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to align my fucking chakras
we should paint friendship bongs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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