C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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