please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
