I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
