If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ate ashes out of my bong
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
