If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
