He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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