Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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