took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
