He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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