their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
