I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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