I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize