I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
