Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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