The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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