this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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