Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I did not marry a roomba.
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