Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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