So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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