I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize