i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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