So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
