Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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