I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
