He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
