I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize