my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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