Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
