Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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