arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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